A Moment of Silence

Remember this blog?… where I talked about how calm and organized my life was going to be now that Emerson was in school all day and I had my afternoons free?  Even though I had picked up an extra shift at work and was starting school?

Mm hmm.

For the last two months, my life has felt on the brink of totally out-of-control.  We never found a babysitter (although my wonderful friend has helped us out a lot over the last few months and my children adore her!) so there has been many a day that my Emerson spends her precious after school hours at work with me.  My glorious weekend days have been eaten up by work and school.  I’m behind on housework, behind on schoolwork,  and am looking at an endless list of half-written blogs and have many more in my head that will never be written.  My computer is on its very last legs, I feel like I spend way too much time in the car,  its dark, dark, dark, and now there’s this wall.  Not a proverbial wall…this wall.

A wall that chops my already tiny living room in two; a wall to keep our house from freezing because of the gaping hole on the other side; a wall behind which men work all day long – pounding and sawing and sanding and talking and adding way too much noise to the already overactive din that is my life; a wall that keeps us constantly on the move – even more than we already are – seeking refuge from the caucophony at friends’ houses, cafes, libraries, you name it…; a wall that prohibits us from putting up a Christmas tree; a wall that is nearly the straw that is breaking the camel’s back.

But behind this wall, good things are happening.  And behind the wall of my blog silence, good things are happening too.  I just don’t have time to talk about it… 

My plan for the next few weeks is to catch up with the past (lots of projects I want to finish before the year ends, including those half-written blogs!), while trying my hardest to keep up with the present.  Christmas is Christmas after all…even without a living room and with a lot of extra noise.  And a year of my life is a year of my life after all…even with hives, three freak natural disasters, and the heart-wrenching death of my father. 

Some years are just like that.  I’ll be glad for the new year though.  I’m excited for the walls to come down.


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